The Rain in Spain Stays Mainly on McCain

So Obama won. Well, unofficially. We still need the official counts and the SCOTUS needs to verify and all that, but according to the news media (which is never, ever wrong), Obama is our next President. I'm not disappointed, nor am I ecstatic. I'm accepting the fact that he's our next President and he made it this far for a reason. Is he our savior that will magically turn this country back around in the next 4-8 years? Not at all. Is he a socialist terrorist that'll destroy the very fabric of which this country was founded? Not in the least. Regardless of his views and ideals, he will not turn this place into Cuba or China. That's not how it works.

If you voted for John McCain, now's the time to buck up and say, "Well, dammit, our guy lost, but we're all still Americans and because I love this country so damned much, I will do whatever it takes to help make this place great again." McCain himself said damn near the same statement during his concession speech last night. We're all Americans, regardless of what your voter registration card says.

If you voted for Barack Obama, don't be a dick about it. We're all Americans and you still have to do your part to help make this country great again. Pressing a little button in a booth or coloring in an arrow or punching out a chad is not the only thing you have to do. There's a lot of work to be done and all of us need to do it.

If you voted third party, then hold your head up. A third party won't win any time soon, but keep at it. This system needs a change and you're being a part of it. Do your part and help make America great again.

If you didn't vote at all, I don't want to hear shit from you. If you didn't try, then you can't complain. If you're at work and they take a poll on where to order lunch but you say "whatever" and they come back with Mexican food and you hate Mexican food, oh well, buddy. You didn't vote on anything. Eat your lunch.

Look, the fact is simple: McCain and Obama were very similar candidates. This is why both sides had to stoop to stupid tactics to make the other look bad about stuff that doesn't even matter. Secondly, Obama isn't going to steal all of your money and give it to poor people. Guess what: YOU ARE THE POOR PEOPLE. John McCain and Obama will be paying higher taxes because they've got loads of cash. You and I will not be paying taxes because we live paycheck to paycheck and have credit card debt and probably don't even own one house, let alone seven. The President cannot just snap his fingers and all of a sudden laws are created. There's a thing called Congress. Also, social security: anyone that thinks that their social security is going to go to illegal immigrants is jaded. Guess what: By the time we're eligible for Social Security, it'll all be gone. That's right—the money you pay for Social Security every week is going to help your parents, not you. You need to set up your own IRA now while you're young because Social Security won't be there for you. Secondly, why are you worried about Social Security if you hate socialism so much? Pssst… here's a secret-SocialSecurity is a very socialist idea. It's not going in your pocket, it's being —get this—redistributed tootherpeople. There were two Socialist candidates on the bill and neither of them was Obama. He's not a socialist. He's not the best choice for President, but he's no socialist. Socialists even say he's not a socialist. Give it a god damned rest already.

One man alone cannot make this country amazing, nor can one man alone screw it all up. If McCain were in office, we'd all have the same problems we'd be having with Obama because neither of them can turn things around single-handedly.

It is what it is and now you have to buck up and be an American and support your President because that's what we do as Americans.

So, let's move on, shall we?